a time machine to 2006

so today i started my macy's job at the cosmetics counter, specifically clinique. today was also clinique's special "clinique happy" fragrance day. i'm gonna smell like 'happy' for the next month, which is coincidentally the scent i wore till junior year. another of many reversions back to high school happening over this break.

tonight i'm going to sadies. not actually the dance, i'm just chaperoning some lovely ladies afterparty. cuz i'm chaperone age now. when did i get old? (girls i know you read this and i'm actually super jazzed to help and seeing as you'll read this post dance, just to let you know i'm sure i had oodles of fun)

would you like a clinique happy fragrance sample ma'am? no? go f*&% yourself.

hippopotamus? no thanks...

what do i want this year for christmas? being a christmas freak, i've given this question a lot of thought in the past 4 months. now, if US weekly asked me because i was a big celeb, my answer would read like the lyrics to michael bubles "my grown up christmas list," buy everyone who really knew me would know that was bull poo. i'm here to give you some straight talk...john mccain style.

1. a jonas brother. i'm not particular about which one, but please not the bonus jonas, i'd have to fake a smile and a thank you if that was the one i received, like grandma's sweater from three years ago except, ya know, an eight year old boy.
2. the instant ability to play the piano really well. i don't wanna take lessons or practice, i just wanna be insta-awesome.
3. the knowledge that vampires exist in the real world. i don't need to fall in love w/ one cuz that sounds complicated but to know that they were real would be sweet, and if one of them wants to spend four books having super awesome sexual tension, i'd be open to that.
4. a puppy. i know its unlikely but i've been asking for one since i was 4 so it just seems appropriate to include that here. ya know, 16th times the charm.
5. Barry Manilow's cover cd "best songs of the 80's"

thats all. i'll leave you with this. If santa had to pick a favorite family band, which would it be? think about it.

too cool for school

this conversation just happened with my dad:

d: hey taylor, i liked that song you were playing earlier...what was it?
t: which one?
d: i think it talked about hard candy
t: oh my god dad, 'laffy taffy' by d4l?
d: yeah, how'd that one go?
t: umm, "girls call me jolly rancher, oh, cuz i stay so hard..."
d: yes! thats the one. do you think you're mom would like that disc?

help.

i think i've gone round the bend...

so the furnace in my bedroom in chicago is broken. its been serviced 3 times (dirty). first, it won't turn off. then it wont' turn on. then it makes my bedroom feel like a humid day in mexico in july. but its most recent dilapidation is my favorite. my furnace is drowning kittens.

every five minutes it makes this strange pissing noise that sounds like it is slowly torturing a brood of kittens. every five minutes. all night long. that means no sleep. all night. no sleep. i think its the taliban attacking my bedroom. i dreamt about killing osama bin laden on a bicycle. stop doing this to me furnace!!

oh well, i'll deal with it in six weeks...here i come edina!

physical and emotional bruises

so this last weekend my mutti was in town, it vas vonderful. we shopped, we saw jersey boys, we went to the zoo. fun was had by all. one downfall.

my mom has gotten a little "mrs. bennett" on me and courtney lately in that she feels its about time to marry us off. its less serious w/ me because old english custom calls for courtney to marry first, but she has taken to doing this thing where whenever she sees an attractive man who appears to be appropriately aged for me, she hits my left arm to make sure i notice too.

great mom, now, when the anxiety of talking to a cute boy hits my stomach, now i can also associate it with your palm slapping my forearm. super.

the west wing of my soul

so a couple days ago president elect (eeeek) barack obama named his white house chief of staff. its a congressman from the 5th cd of illinois, rahm emanuel. nbd right? wrong.

this man served as inspiration to aaron sorkin for the character on the west wing responsible for not only my love of older men w/ poofy hair, but also my love of politics: josh lyman.

my fantasies are coming true, how do i become his assistant??

i'm budging, not killing babies...wait.

so, yesterday was hanson concert numero dos. it was magic. i budged, got super close and had eye sex with all three members of the band.

highs of the night:
seeing zac hanson actually high. seriously, you could smell it.
taylor's man scarf and large bulge.
isaac's o faces during guitar solos

lows of the night:
the 10 minute lecture about dying babies in africa. seriously, save activism for the afternoon, tonight i wanna mmbop.

all together it was an amazing show. so magical. so wonderful. so hantastic.

ps. political post for later tonight or should i say tomorrow morning. this election is wonderful and stressful. vote. hanson told you to.